☾ SELF LOVE ACTIVIST & CHRONIC OVER-SHARER
I'm here to help you learn to love and accept yourself at every stage in life.
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I’ve let my insecurities about my body affect my relationship with my husband in the past.
I’ve covered up, grabbed clothes to change in a different room, swiped his hand away when it’s fallen across my belly, dismissed his compliments and followed them with negative self talk and avoided closeness and intimacy.
Sometimes I wasn’t even aware that I was doing it, and other times I was hyper aware and that feeling I got when I realized I was pushing him away hurt and only added to that insecurity. I wasn’t enough for me so I assumed I wasn’t enough for him, so I would push him away. Which would make him feel like he wasn’t enough and it was an endless cycle that left us both distant and disconnected.
This journey of self love and body acceptance isn’t always perfect or easy, but it’s one that is so important for not only my relationship with myself, but my relationship with my partner.
This man always looks at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he has ever laid his eyes on, but without all the work I put into loving and accepting myself, I was denying him the chance to show me how beautiful he thinks I am and I was refusing to believe him. I was missing out on the closeness and intimacy and love I so deeply craved because of the walls and barriers I allowed my feelings of unworthiness to put up.
When I think of how far I’ve come, when I think of all the areas that have begun to heal and grow and get exponentially better because of the work I’ve put in, I’m amazed. When I started this journey I had no idea the full impact it would make in my life. I knew I wanted things to be different, and let me just say they really are.
My relationship with myself has allowed me to heal and create positive relationships with others. Who doesn’t want that?!
You don’t need to justify your weight gain.
I’ve made excuses for mine in the past, feeling like I had to explain it or justify it for it to be okay.
I’ve felt shame too.
Shame that the weight wasn’t pregnancy related.
Shame for feeling shame at all.
Shame that I was giving excuses for it to people who didn’t deserve one.
Shame that I thought I needed too.
Shame has a funny way of spiralling out of control if we let it.
The truth is weight gain isn’t something to be ashamed of.
I know everywhere you look someone is trying to tell you otherwise, but weight gain is allowed.
It’s okay.
It’s fucking normal.
Our bodies are allowed to change, they are suppose to.
We aren’t meant to stay the same and we don’t have to apologize for allowing and accepting that.
We don’t have to change our bodies or force them into any other shape then the one they are either.
I’m so tired of people assuming I’m trying to lose weight when they see me moving my body.
I’m tired of people assuming I couldn’t possibly be happy unless I’m trying to shrink myself again.
I feel like a lot of people are waiting for me to get back to where I was before I gained this extra weight, but the truth is I’m not.
I don’t feel the need to.
Instead I am living my life the way I want to.
I am allowing my body to look and be whatever it needs to in order to do that.
I’m okay with the weight I’ve gained, I’m allowed to be.
You are too!